by crobertson

I’ve been pondering that OLW.

Thinking about all the things I’d like to be better at:
a better mom, having more patience, spending meaningful time with Braeden; giving him my full attention
a better wife, really…really listening before reacting, being compassionate, affectionate, taking the chip off my shoulder, letting the little things go
a better friend, thinking of them; their lives and doing little things to show I value our friendship
a better daughter, calling my mom weekly just to talk-not because I need something, spending some mommy-daughter time
a better……..

The list goes on and on, but what I noticed was a link. A common thread you could say. A cause. My OLW. Focus.

My life lately can be best described as that shiny sphere in a pinball machine.

(Lately, who am I kidding. It has been this way for a long time.)

Everyday, I think about what I have to do today. Write a list (ok, only sometimes). I come across interruptions, distractions and I just don’t feel like its. Bouncing from one thing to another. One thought to another. Trying to get everything done. Trying to end the day with a sense of accomplishment. Essentially, at peace.

Everyday, what really happens…I have clean dishes in the dishwasher since last night, dirty dishes in the sink, wet clothes in the washer, damp clothes in the dryer, clean clothes waiting to be put away, dirty clothes on the floor, 10 or 15 minutes here and there playing with Braeden, dust bunnies marching…taking over every. single. room. in. the. house. while the vacuum sits out because I started to vacuum but never finished, the bag of papers to grade that have traveled back and forth from school to home…untouched…all week, paperwork bursting from the top of the shredder, the pile of junk mail waiting, a husband that just wants to spend time with me, but I’m so exhausted and stressed I don’t want to be by anyone, an unmade bed I lay in at the end of the day, fighting with the sheets because they’re all twisted.

I try to multi-task too much. I try and get everything done rather than focus on one thing.

So my OLW focus I believe will pave the path to a new year, allowing me to be better at many things. I can finally have a sense of accomplishment. I can finally be at peace.